In so many ways, our marriage of two people with such vast differences is a testimony to God’s sense of humor.  But, as we have learned over the past three decades, God also uses those differences in backgrounds and personalities to challenge us, to complement our weaknesses and to bring healing into one another’s life.

Gary was the first-born son in a family that eventually included two brothers and a sister.  His childhood was spent on the family farm near Logansport, Indiana where he grew up in the house in which his grandfather had been raised and his father had been born.  The rural upbringing played a significant role in setting Gary’s values and life perspective.

Gary was determined to set a different course for his life and saw college as the key to that plan.  At age 14, he decided to pursue chemical engineering as his career goal.  After high school Gary attended Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology from which he graduated in 1973.  A week later, he began working for the DuPont Company in a northern suburb of Nashville, TN.

Late 1976 brought an unexpected change in assignments that resulted in Gary’s transfer to Kansas City, MO.  Moving from a manufacturing environment into a marketing representative position brought a great deal of personal growth into Gary’s life and set the stage for him to meet Elvira.

Elvira, on the other hand, was born as the second daughter in a New York Italian family that also included a younger brother and sister.  Initially living in the large home of her grandparents, her family moved into subsidized housing while her father started his business.  As the business grew, the family eventually moved into a three-story home in Great Neck, NY.  During this time Elvira attended parochial schools.

When Elvira was 11 years old, the family moved to Middletown, NJ to shorten her father’s commute to his factory.  She graduated from Middletown High School in 1966 and then went to Tusculum College in Greeneville, TN.  After college, Elvira spent a year in southern California before joining Trans World Airlines as a flight attendant.  After working from JFK airport in New York for a couple of years, Elvira transferred to Kansas City.

Gary and Elvira met in the summer of 1977 and eloped on New Year’s Eve of that year.  They continued in their jobs with DuPont and TWA.  In May of 1979, their son Aaron was born and a few months later the family was transferred to Buffalo, NY.  Two years later, their second son Nathan was born.

The next fifteen years involved transfers with DuPont to Wilmington, DE, North Little Rock, AR, Seaford, DE, Dalton, GA and Atlanta, GA.  Elvira had continued working with the airlines until 1986 after which she began working in the public school districts.  By the time the family arrived in Atlanta in the summer of 1996, having survived three moves in four years, everyone was physically, spiritually and emotionally wiped out.  The Delaplanes’ marriage seemed to be a constant roller coaster of conflict and struggles, their finances were shaky due to a lawsuit with their home builder, years and years of “playing religion” had taken its toll, and both boys were deeply grieving the many losses of friends and stability.  Over the years the differences that Gary and Elvira had found so attractive during their dating time had turned into irritants to one another.  The family was a shipwreck.

By the end of 1997, the situation had brought both Gary and Elvira to their knees.  Individually, each decided that “this is no way to live – there has to be something better.”  After years of self-sufficiency and a distant relationship with God, both Gary and Elvira asked God to take over control of their lives, their marriage and their family.  That submission was the beginning of an incredible transformation in the lives of the Delaplanes.

Over the next three years, Gary and Elvira changed churches, became involved in a home group study on marriage intimacy and truly began to rely on God.  Despite the ongoing issues with the lawsuit, Gary once again tithed and turned the situation over to God.  Gary and Elvira knew that significant changes had occurred in their lives when they found themselves praying for the builder and the attorneys.

The dark valley of this wonderful transformation came in May 2000.  While vacationing in Delaware to attend the wedding of a dear friend, the Delaplanes received a life-changing call on Gary’s cell phone from one of Nathan’s best friends, “Mr. Delaplane, this is Paul.  Nathan hung himself and he’s dead.”  Those few words changed our lives in ways we could not fathom at the time.

God provided supernatural comfort to Gary and Elvira through friends and family.  He brought peace where each had thought impossible.  As he experienced God’s grace and deeper intimacy, Gary found his job at DuPont to be simply a place to obtain a paycheck.  By the next summer, Gary applied for early retirement with Elvira’s encouragement and support, thus ending a 28-year career and stepping into the unknown. 

After simplifying their lifestyle and down-sizing their home, Gary and Elvira started Mourning Dove Ministries in the fall of 2001.  By the following spring, Gary felt convicted that he needed to obtain a Master’s Degree in counseling.  Elvira continued to provide income and insurance for the family through working as a teaching assistant until Gary completed the degree in May 2005.

The next step of faith came in 2006 when the Delaplanes walked away from all of their “tent-making” activities to put full-time effort into the coaching and counseling ministry.  God has honored that decision in so many unexpected ways.  Without knowing all of God’s plans, Gary and Elvira are passionate about doing all that God has in mind to heal marriages and to create new legacies for the children of those marriages.  The story will continue…